Helping Hand

Includer: Cares for Strays

In StrengthsFinder Themes by Rhonda Knight Boyle

“Can you believe he just gave his truck away? No kidding! He gave it to that couple down the street… And then they wrecked it and now he’s out thousands of dollars!”

“Why is she always trying to help people when they’re not willing to help themselves? They’re just taking advantage of her!”

“We’ve been through this before! Every Thanksgiving, we have a dozen strangers in the house. It’s supposed to be a FAMILY day.”

Helping Hand

Includer: Always offering a helping hand.

Strengths: Non-Judgmental

Are you frustrated by people in your life who are always picking up strays? They seem to be attracted to those on the outside who are down and out and seem to be excluded. Maybe they pick up new “friends” who take advantage of them. Or maybe they give away money to people they barely even know, who just need a little “something” to get them by. Or maybe there are frequent dinner “guests” because your spouse keeps bringing strangers home for a meal. Perhaps they get entangled in other people’s lives because all they wanted to do was help and they got sucked into unexpected circumstances.

You may be living or working with someone who is strong in the StrengthsFinder talent theme of Includer.

Includer: Open and Generous

Those high in Includer are hyper-sensitive to those who are excluded. They can’t stand the idea of someone left behind, or someone who is living “outside” the circle. They always notice the outliers, those on the peripheral of life. They nearly always root for the underdog.

They have an innate desire to include others, to make sure they are welcomed, and to bring them into their sphere of influence. It’s as if their radar locks in on the loner, the quiet one in the corner, or the one hanging back who is not part of the main action. They extend the hand of friendship because they believe that underneath all the trappings of modern life, we are essentially the same. No one should be left out, no one should be ignored because we are each an important part of life’s story.

Outside

Includer: They notice those who are on the outside.

They Need to Include Others

My friend, Charles, is a wonderful Includer! He works in sales for a legal service company and he’s always finding people in the back of the room, in the back of the church, or in the back of the seminar who need his attention. He is drawn to learn their stories, to hear their struggles, and to do what he can to include them and meet their needs. He invites them into his world and into his life. He’s learned, over time, to be more discriminating. His wife serves as an accountability partner to make sure they actually have the resources to help the new people he finds.

Love Your Includer

The next time you see your Includer trying to pick up a new stray, ask them what potential they see in the person. Ask them to tell you how they can make their lives better. Invite them to help you see the same things they see — the potential — and offer to work through a plan to lift this person up into a better life. Your Includer will feel validated and heard. And they’ll then be open to suggestions and compromise. Not only that, you will be helping them learn to be more discerning in knowing who they can and who they cannot realistically help.

When working with someone strong in Includer, ask yourself: Where do we need to bring people into the circle? How can we collectively help the new people the Includer brings into the mix?

To get answers for all your StrengthsFinder needs, be sure to visit www.GallupStrengthsCenter.com.

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Rhonda is a Gallup Certified StrengthsFinder coach and the founder of Rhonda Boyle LLC, a coaching and consulting company. She uses Clifton Strengths and BP10 methodology to foster personal development and professional growth. She can be heard on the OklahomaTalkingCo podcast network and is the host of the Activate Your Strengths Show.

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